I will Rise-Chris Tomlin

 

 

I absolutelylove this song.

No ifs ands or buts about it.

I am taking back control and giving over to My Maker.

I know He is calling my name,

and now I will rise!

7- Conclusion for me

I have been encouraged, uplifted, and changed in the last 4 days.
I will continue to eat my 7 foods for the next 3 days. BUT today and tomorrow I am adding caffeine. I have 24 hours to get my house into birthday party ready. My tiniest son is turning 1. I'm excited and sad all at the same time. I have no idea where his first year of life has gone. It flew buy. He has been a ray of complete sunshine for me. His smiles are contagious and his laugh infectious. His brothers are experiencing his first milestones and are comprehending that they each had moments like this in their life. I LOVE MY LIFE!
I love this life my Heavenly Father has blessed me with. I have these sweet boys who show me life in a whole new perspective. Just today they destroyed their closet, which I have put together time and again. I was so upset I called my grandmother who reminded me they don't think they way I do. To them it was an adventure, a very exciting one. To them, they weren't destroying hours of work, they were climbing the tallest of obstacles to the treasure. And they won!
I love my husband who still loves me with all my craziness. And it is alot of crazy ya'll!
I don't always like my body, but I love who I am. God gave me this body, just as he entrusted me with my babies, to take care of. I need to nourishing, train it, discipline it, and cherish it. This is the only one I get and despite what I think, I have complete control over what I put in it. And this extends past food...to the books, tv, and people I let influence me. I have control over whether or not I lazy around all day or get up and get to it. Whether I watch tv or worship my Father. I have control. I have control because He has given it to me. I just need to rise to the occasion and take it! Not just ride along hoping someone else takes the wheel for me.
I try to wrap my mind around the fact that I am not alone in this walk, this journey that is life. I am not the only person struggling to follow Christ. I know in my heart of hearts that others have struggles, just because they aren't always right there...front and center...doesn't mean it isn't there. And I know that not everybody struggles the same way or with the same things, but sometimes it easy to just assume that everything just comes easier and natural to those around you. But this week, sharing this specific fasting journey with many others, I have seen their struggles. This wasn't easy and wasn't meant to be, but in the end it has been so worth it.
This week I have proven to myself that I can make a difficult lifestyle change and stick to it. One of the smaller victories for myself has been the loss of 5 whole pounds. It is actually 20% of a weight loss goal I have set for myself. I didn't have any dietary aid this week. Just 7 raw ingredients and water.
I am grateful for the eye opening experiences I have had this week and the chances for worship and prayer I have had. I am thankful for finding a new dependance....that has truely always been there, I just have never used Him. And for the changes in my days that I can see extending into the future.

7-Foods. Blessed to do more

My milk had decreased and I am not sure how I feel about it. I'm in the process of trying to ween tiny, but he isn't ready to be completely done. It's not a big deal because he likes formula and silk. Yesterday I found myself lacking in the milk department, formula-less, and without a drop of silk. By some miracle I was able to nurse him to sleep for a much needed nap. I thought that by the time he woke up I would have more made. I was super tired and still had that stupid caffeine headache. As I am figuring out what I could do quietly my doorbell rings and the big boys coming running yelling from their room. "Someone is here! Who is here! MOM!!!" "Ssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, I am right here and your brother is....eeerrrr was asleep." It was Daniel's grandmother. She randomly drops by about once a week. She comes to play with the boys and I try so hard to get work done in the hour or two that she is there. It quickly becomes apparent to me that my tiny is not going to be okay with being awake, and there is no way he is just going to go back to sleep. Ahhhh, what I would do for a Dr. Pepper. My head is pounding and my baby is screaming. I tell Mam (great-gramma) that I am going to find the baby some formula. I first hit the TootNTotum by my house, I know I have seen some formula in there. And HEY, I am getting me a Dr. Pepper. I mean, seriously, God would not have provided and opportunity for me to get out and get one if it wasn't meant to be right?? Well, my TootNTotum no longer carries formula, what?? Argh!! Hmm. What to do? For starters, I'm not getting ONLY a Dr. Pepper on the credit card. I hop back into my car and jet off down the road to the next closest store, Family Dollar. They sell bottles, I know I have picked up baby food there, surely there is formula. As I am getting out of the car this man is sitting against the building. My first thoughts, 'Please don't ask me for money, Please, Please just don't'. "Mam?", he asks. I am deflated. "Mam, could you please by me some food? Just a TV dinner or two?" Bam! Here I am, been praying for the hungry of other countries, my fasting friends, and myself....with every self made barrier I come to, and this man of my own country is hungry asking for food. So, I tell him I will see what I can find. I get in the store and NO FORMULA! Ugh!! What am I going to do? I have no desire to go all the way to WalMart. I start walking over to the frozen foods for the fella outside. As I am standing there I start pondering. ....if this man is homeless, how is he supposed to cook these? and if he doesn't cook them now, they will thaw and go bad. am I being had? Do I have sucker written on my forehead. But seriously, what are the odds I would be out of my house right now with all the food I need at home and that somebody would ask me for food while I am in this place in life. Well, I will buy him something, but it won't be a frozen meal. I found a couple lunchables and a large box of poptarts. I was debating on some trailmix or something with protein. While walking up and down the isles what did my little eye spy?? A box of silk milk!!! Yes! Jackpot! I grabbed it and decided that what I had was okay for the man. When I walked up to him with my offerings and told him what I had, he smiled so big. I wonder if he thought I was never coming out or perhaps I had the ladies call the cops. He thanked me and said "God bless you." And I thought to myself he has and he does. Because he does I am able to do this. I am so grateful to be blessed in the ways that I am, and I am so joyful at opportunities to serve his people. And it's often hard, but I am happy when I feel I am put in my place. :)

7-Foods Stepping in the right Direction

So last night I went grocery shopping. I am not going to lie. Easiest trip ever. I know exactly where my food are located. And I didn't even try to think about what I was going to eat after this week. I figured I might pick something things up for later, but when I was there it didn't cross my mind. I got my foods (easy, 7 foods doesn't take that long) and some things for the boys. I chose my foods based on the fact the mixed well and I love them. I didn't want to lose focus of why I am doing this.
Last night because I went to the store and knew cooking time would be limited, I picked up a bag pre-cooked Tyson's chicken for dinner. While it was cooking the microwave I cut tomatoes, onion, and jalapenos, when the chicken was done I shredded it, then mixed it all together for what I call chicken salsa salad. Its good eaten with corn tortilla chips or wrapped in a corn tortilla. I am so grateful for the creativity God bestowed on me.
I was still battling a caffeine headache, but it wasn't as bad as the morning time. I think the hardest part has been the drinking only water. No juice, no milk, no coffee, no tea, no Dr. Pepper. I drink water, but not as much as I should. I lean on coffee, tea, and Dr. Pepper to get me through the day. I should be leaning on my Heavenly Father. We (especially me) have so many different crutches to get us through our day. When I am lonely, I turn to Facebook to see what my friends and family are up to. When I am feeling blah, I turn to TV for entertainment. When I am dragging, I find some food or get a cup-o-joe. I'm not saying checking Facebook, watching TV, or grabbing that bit of caffeine is completely awful or should never be done. But when we forget to lean on God, or use these things as distraction or avoidance of our God it is bad. When these things take His place in our lives they become Idols. Right now I am focusing on the food portion. I have a feeling everything else will be addressed in due time. I keep talking about getting back to basics and focusing on what should be priorty in my life. All that talking just ends up being talk. This is a real excercise in re-prioritizing. The first of many. A step in the right direction.

7-Fasting

Day one was great! I made my foods and ate them happily. I was constantly thinking about the great gals who are journeying along side me. I thought about each of them who I knew and the characteristics God have given them that are so different than the ones he gave me. I spent time thinking about all the different things we each have to bring to the table. How He made us to encourage and inspire each other. The way he works is awesome and amazing. I am truly grateful for the people He has placed in my life. I was excited all day for the work that could be done in my life when I am willing to focus on Him all day.
Last night I went to bed with the worst headache of my life. I am totally dependant on caffeine. It is ridiculous, but it is what it is. I woke up to the same headache and was crazy nauseous.
Today, day two, has been rougher in ways I wouldn't have thought. I am blessed to have so much food in my house that my babies shall never have to wonder when they will eat next. I have sorely taken for granted the many time I feed my children everyday and just swipe food from their plate. It is a habit I didn't realize I did without really even thinking what I was doing. This morning I put the tiniest guy in his highchair and put a couple handfuls of Fruit Loops on his tray. I went to pop a few in my mouth. I had to stop myself and think "what am I doing?". I sat in my chair at the table and pulled him closer. As we sat here he got fussy, he really loves us to do the same things...so usually I pop one of his foodies in my mouth and make yummy-yummy noises and he happily goes back to munching. This morning I once again caught myself. As I sat here nauseous (thank you vicious headache) I thought about my planned breakfast of eggs. The thought of cooking eggs and then eating nearly had me running for the restroom. So I sat here, thinking of all the breakfast-y foods I have sitting around. I have apples, yogurt, a grapefruit, the makings of a fruit smoothie, toast, waffle mix, muffin mix, fruit loops, and oatmeal. Crazy enough...that is my pantry nearly bare. On average I have 2 more variety's of cereal, breakfast bars, bagels, pancake mix, bananas, bacon, and sausage. Here I sit, thinking of all this food in my house I can not eat...when there are people who are living daily with much less than what I have in my bare pantry. And that was only the breakfast selections.
We are blessed, in more ways than we can count. Sure, we are grateful on a level....but on another level we are so greedy. I am greedy. I love good food, and lots of it.
I like to think I am aware of those who are less fortunate than me, but I sure do not think of them as often as I should.

7: What foods do you want?

Last week I read the first chapter of 7-Experimental Mutiny Against Excess. In summary it is the author's a month of eating 7 foods. It was a fast from excess eating in preparation for all the fasts to come in the book.
As this is something I have been pondering and struggling to wrap my mind around, I too have decided to take on a 7 food fast. We eat so much crap all the time, stuff that isn't essential to our well being. We throw away ridiculous amount of uneaten food for many reasons: we don't like it, we are full, it has gone bad in the fridge before we get to it, we messed it up in the process of cooking, and the dreaded leftovers that got forgotten because we can't have the same thing twice. I struggled with picking simple enough food to prepare, foods that I really love and hopefully won't end up complaining about, and I think they mix and match well.  When it is all said and done...It is not about the food I don't eat or the food I do eat. It is about being aware of my usual waste, my lack of gratitude, and a spiritual revitalization.
For accountability's sake, my food choices are: eggs, avocados, tomatoes, onions, jalapenos, corn tortillas, and chicken. For 7 days I can eat these 7 foods with salt, pepper, and olive oil sparingly. And can only drink water.
I am excited for the potential clarity of body, mind, and most importantly spirit.
Another lady brought up the biblical concept of fasting....the purpose behind it, the process, situations....I am planing on doing some research because of her questioning. I don't think we need to just do things blindly, but here I am going in blindly. I hope to come out refreshed and informed. I want to focus on His love, mercy, grace, and His supreme authority. He gives and takes away, He sustains and snuffs out, He is my provider, my shelter, the wind beneath my wings. At the end of everyday I am blessed. Ridiculously blessed. I need to be more grateful. I need to be more humble.

I just listened to this song and thought to share it.

When in doubt, turn to worship.

I pray this week for God to meet me where I am and fill me up.

Fill me with Himself and what He wants me to get out of this.

That for me there is a change from the inside out.

There are so many cries from my heart at this point that there really are no words.

I just can't wait to see how God will work this week.

New Book

Starting a new book study with the chicka-bonitas at church.
First, I must say I have been super blessed with these ladies at church. They have a love for our maker that is contagious and encouraging. If I ever feel lost, I simply look around and there is someone to unknowingly point the way. If ever I feel less in anyway, it is not because anyone makes me feel that way. I believe it is God using them and the example the represent to move my heart closer to him and set my course true. I am forever grateful for the shining beacons of his love that this group of ladies are, the encouragement they share, and the wisdom they pour out.
 Second, I feel this book is going to touch on so many areas in my life in which I have been personally stuggling. I deep down know my maker knows I need a support team in my endeavors, and he worked this book into my life and the lives of those around me. He has worked us into this group on purpose and I just can't wait to see what he has instore for our little group.

7-Experimental Mutiny Against Excess by Jan Hatmaker is the book. I started reading it one morning before the babies woke up and forced myself to set it down. I don't want to rush through it as is my usual. I want to take it slow, follow it, and really apply it to myself.  I really want to make some serious changes in my life. I need all of me to be poured out and all of Him poured in. I hope this book is what has been missing in all my attempted failures.
If you are like me and just like to dig up more and more untill you can't get enough this is Jen Hatmaker's blog and website.